no expirience

so who knows? i've never done this before...you know. expressing my feelings for everyone to see. i'm so hard to explain and right now i'm all full of emotions.

at this moment i do not feel loved by those around me. i do have people who love me and i know that. but sometimes, i get frustrated.

i do not like hypocrites, even tho i know i am one

i do not like fake people, even tho sometimes i'm not completely real

i do not like those who think they're better than me, even tho i feel the same sometimes

i do not like those who try to be perfect

i do not like those who have to make fun of others to make themselves feel better, even tho i'm guilty of this

so summed up, i might not like who i am

i'm trying to change

and i know God is workin in me

its hard tho

i want my friends

i want new friends

i want new relationships where i can be myself

i want people to understand me

and no one does

no one

but Christ knows me

and i cant get that through my thick skull...He knows me better than i know me.

cray cray right?

i desire someone who loves me and knows me and can tell when i'm feeling a certain way and how i'd react to a certain situation.

i want pure, unconditional love

thats me

thats what i long for

and i pray that's in God's will



amen

and amen

;)